I haven't a clue as to where this peculiar tradition originated; it was just always there on the table, cranberry sauce as well. Oh yes, we had it all.Christmas was also the only day in the year that Dad made proper braised celery. Cooked celery is not necessarily one of the most popular vegetables, particularly with small children. The strings tend to wrap themselves around infant teeth in seconds and the flavour itself is complex and challenging to the untrained (unsullied?) palate. But I loved it, and very much looked forward to those sloppy, grey stalks (I think some sliced, dark-gilled mushrooms were included in the braise, too, to give extra flavour). Parsnips, carbonised perhaps a little too well, together with the roasties and - with their all-too-familiar gassy odour - a pot of simmering Brussels sprouts completed the array of festive vegetables.There were two lots of turkey stuffing: sausage meat beneath the neck flap, and some sage and onion in the carcass cavity. I have never been fussy about stuffings, but will always eat them if they are put on my plate - but then I always eat everything that is put before me, as I know I won't get any pudding otherwise.

The turkey was just fine but, even as a nipper, I would always ask for the brown meat. I had sussed out early on that the darker stuff from the leg and thigh actually had some flavour, as opposed to pappy, paper-thin slices of pale breast. But however carefully cooked and zealously flavoured the bird, it always, but always, tasted better pantry-hacked-at later in the day by me and my brother - disguised as pee-breaks during Monopoly. We just could not pass the tea-towel-draped bird, sitting on its big oval dish, without a quick jagged slice, a smear of cold bread sauce and a surreptitious drag through the fat- speckled jelly that lurked beneath its semi-demolished undercarriage.Whatever you decide to roast - and it is important that it is a roast (be it the traditional big bird, a richly crisp goose, a tray of strong game birds or a joint from a well-bred pig) - it is imperative that the assembly be richly flavoured, deeply savoury and generously presented.

It is unnecessary to provide first courses for this feast, as this will spoil the appetite for second - and maybe third - helpings; although a plate of smoked salmon may seem appropriate at the time, it is much more enjoyable for breakfast on Boxing Day, folded into a nice fluffy omelette. Assuming, that is, that there are enough eggs left in the country to make one, and that you have bought the correct frying pan.As I have never, in my life, roasted a turkey, here is a nice recipe for guinea fowl for Christmas. All the usual trimmings will produce the same seasonal scents "Bruce! Will you please put a lid on those sprouts. I can smell them on the landing."Roast guinea fowl with prunes and bacon and Armagnac gravy, serves 416 thin slices streaky bacon16 prunes (stoned) soaked in 250ml hot chicken stock for an hour1 tbsp redcurrant jelly1 guinea fowlsoftened buttersalt and pepperjuice of half a lemon1 onion, peeled and cut into wedges2 sprigs of rosemary1 small glass of white wine75ml Port100ml Armagnac25g butterPre-heat the oven to 425F/220C/ gas mark 7. Roll each prune in a slice of bacon, ensuring the join remains underneath Place on a baking sheet and put on one side. Put the chicken soaking liquor into a small pan with the redcurrant jelly and reduce gently by two-thirds.Put the guinea fowl into a solid roasting dish (one that will also sit on a naked flame or burner), smear with butter and season. Distribute the onions and rosemary around the bird, pour in the wine and Port and put in the oven.

Allow about an hour's cooking time in all, turning the heat down to 350F/180C/gas mark 4 for the final 15 minutes. Also, during this final quarter-hour, put in the prune and bacon rolls to roast.Now allow the bird to rest and relax, ensuring that the juices settle in the meat before it is cut. This should be for about 7-10 minutes, and the best way is to leave the oven door open for a couple of minutes to cool down, then pop the birds back, in a clean dish, and leave the door ajar. The prune and bacon rolls can be left in here, too.Now add the Armagnac to the roasting dish, along with the reduced prune/stock liquor, and stir into the messy onion bits Put over a flame to heat up. Simmer gently for about 20 minutes and tip into a colander suspended over a clean pan Allow to drip for 10 minutes and discard the solids. Remove any excess fat from the surface of the gravy with several sheets of kitchen paper, then strain through a fine sieve into a small pan.